Towards the end of end of last year I felt a change in the way that I was thinking and looking at life. I’m fed up of constantly feeling stressed about life, that I’m not good enough and it really affecting my mood.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about what I can do to make myself feel better. To shrug of these feeling and to feel happier in myself and I thought I would share them with you.
This is actually something that I started doing at the beginning of 2018 and it made such a difference, that I’m obviously going to continue and I thought I would share it with you. I’ve always loved to read and since having children, I just hadn’t read books like I used to do. I have always read a book before bed, to help me relax and switch off. But because I was so tired by this stage, I would only read a few paragraphs and I would be asleep. It meant a book would take forever to read and I never really got into it, if you know what I mean.
Last year I started to go to be earlier a few times a week and sit and read my book. I love it and it makes me feel a lot more relaxed now. Plus I’m getting to read a lot more brilliant books. This year because I now have both the girls at school, some days I am taking myself upstairs away from the distractions about an hour before school pick up and reading my book. This has been amazing for me. To have this time to clear my head before I get the girls, I definitely notice a difference to my attitude when I do this and when I don’t.
I wrote a post last week about wanting to start doing some exercise and whether to join a gym or do something at home. At the moment I’m still not sure what I’m going to do and I need to find a way that works for me and our family. Andy has been running for just over a year now and he goes a few times a week with a friend, he loves it. He has said he will take me out for a run, but I hate the thought of anyone seeing me all red and sweaty!
But, whatever I decide to do. I need to do something and stop delaying it.
Over the last few years, as a result of my post natal depression and anxiety, I’ve not been the friend that I once was. I’ve hidden myself away and not seen people as much as I would’ve liked to. I also realised through this, that I was the friend that initiated a lot of the contact and arranging to meet up and because I stopped doing it, it meant that friends didn’t get in contact with me.
This year I’m determined to be a better friend, to push myself to send that text message, to arrange to go out more and to try and be the friend I once was. Sadly, some friends didn’t stick with me over the last few years, but I’m going to treasure the ones that did a little bit more and the new friends too.
Lower My Standards
I need to lower my own standards, standards that are set by me. But that are sending me into some kind of crazy person. When it comes to the housework, my work, how I parent, relationships, basically everything. I put this pressure on myself to project this perfect life and I’m exhausting myself.
I need to worry about the housework less, just chill a bit more when it comes to the girls and spend less time looking at social media and seeing everyone else perfect homes. I’m going to take the pressure off doing it all.
That is it. Nothing particularly groundbreaking, but some pretty big things for me personally. Now to put it all into action!