The last couple of week’s I’ve been really emotional about my Alice and how much she has grown up. I think having her home for half term and having that concentrated time with her, I could really see the little girl she has become.
I’ll be honest I was a bit worried leading up to half term as to how I would manage with both girls home everyday on my own. It’s these times that I know I can start to feel anxious and my depression can raise it’s head again. But the girls were an absolute joy to be around. They played really well together, if possible even better than they normally.
I think they both benefited from this time together and I know Holly loves having her big sister home every day.
We didn’t do anything particularly spectacular over half term. We saw my niece and my parents a couple of times. We played at home and in the garden. And we ended the week with a girls trip to the cinema to see Peppa Pig, which they both loved and it was the perfect end to the week.
This week Alice had a school trip and I went along to help out, it was a chance to see her with her friends and how she is with her teachers. I can see that she is a well liked little girl and they weren’t surprised that she was only one to hurt herself. They do call her ‘Miss Bump’ for a reason….
Having this time with Alice over the last couple of weeks, I’ve really been able to see her, if that makes sense. Since the start of school in September it means I only get the bit at the end of day, which doesn’t always mean I get to see the best of her. The weekends race by and the weeks all roll into one.
But, having this time with her I can see how much she has learnt at school, the little girl that she has become. I couldn’t be prouder of her. Just this week we went into her assembly to see her get a certificate for the great work she has done from the head teacher. Another sign that she really is thriving at school. As I sat there holding back the tears as my little girl stood there with the biggest beaming smile. It made my heart ache a little bit.
Why did she have to grow up, how is it that she is a school girl now. As much as the school holidays make me anxious, this last half term has shown just how far I’ve come and even Andy commented how calm I was at the end of week. No matter what, I will always be the mum that wishes she could have her girls home with her everyday.
But then I also love the age she is now, I love that she is full of life and desperate to learn. I love to see how much she has learnt this last year and it amazes me everyday. It’s just another sign that motherhood isn’t easy and we want the best of both worlds. To have my girl home with me, but also to see her learn so much.
For now I’m on the countdown to the summer holidays and after last years, disastrous start with both the girls getting chicken pox. I’m determined we will have the best time ever…